We have been running the Customer Reviewer of the Month competition for a while but the review of the Exposure Smart Port Storm Cap by gusferenczy is clearly the most special we’ve seen so far. As always, he is entitled to the £250 voucher.

The sheer smallness and simplicity of this product belies the complexity of emotion evoked during use. The simple action of stretching the ring over the socket for initial fitment conjurs an image of the noose of justice being placed around the necks of the French revolutionaries, and firm yet forgiving click of the bung being pressed home cannot fail but to stir the memory of bullet striking forehead in Stone’s Platoon. Uncorking to access the socket of power within is reminiscent of Aladdin loosing the genie, paving the way as it surely does to the spectre of illuminescense across the landscape. Surely, no mortal can demand more hope, more expectation, and more satisfaction from a small piece of rubber lightening the pocket for less simoneons that one of your Earth pounds.


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